The Beauty in A Break Down

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Friday, October 27, 2017

Break ups suck. Even if it was completely your choice and you know you'll be truly happier without them, they still suck. 

You may have gone through months of emotional hell with them, but for some reason when it comes to the break up all the good stuff comes rushing back to you. 

You start thinking of all your milestone moments, such as when you first met as complete strangers and spent the whole afternoon creasing with laughter. Or when you had your first kiss, whether it was a drunken fumble or under the stars in the most romantic way possible, although I'm not sure that exists. Every moment meant something to you, and it was something you both shared together. 

The strangest things can happen as you start remembering times you hadn't recalled in years! Just the little things, like when he turned up to your house when you were ill with your favourite magazine, medicine and chocolate to get you through the day. Or that time when you thought she hadn't been listening to you rave about this new band, and in a weeks time surprises you with tickets to the gig. 

All you want is to talk to that person and reminisce about the good times because you know they're the only other person in the world who will understand what you're experiencing.  But talking to them is definitely the wrong thing to do. If you know in your heart of hearts you don't belong with that person, then you need to cut them off cold turkey. No going back. 

Getting out of the depressive rut can be a tough one, but once you get through the utter shite stage of constantly thinking about them and listening to your T Swift and Adele on repeat, you can start to see the good things that come from a break up. 

Firstly, turn Adele off. Yes she is a fantastic artist but come on. Put some Beyoncé on and come to the realisation that actually they aren't Irreplaceable, they are the Best Thing I Never Had, I am a Survivor and from now on it's just Me, Myself and I

(Some Beyoncé songs I would recommend if you are currently going through this. They work, trust me!)

Everything you do, you are doing for yourself. When in a relationship, the decisions you make you tend to have your partner in the back of your head whether its a career move, a new outfit, or a new hair do you always end up thinking "Hmm will so and so like this?" So the pressure to please anyone but yourself has gone. 

With them gone means, duh, more time for yourself. You don't have to worry about them popping over one evening when you're shattered after work and just want to sit quietly and watch TV til the cows come home, you don't have to share your bed, you only have to make dinner for yourself, you don't have to pee with the door closed. You wont feel suffocated as you have your own personal space that isn't being invaded and your own freedom to do what you like. 

The great thing about being on your own is; you make all the rules and if you choose to break them it won't matter as you answer to yourself anyway. One of the worst relationships I have ever been in is when my SO tried to control me and dictate who I could and couldn't speak to etc. It's just the most irritating thing at the time, but so many of us have been blinded by love. Once you realise how toxic that is and you know to get out, you will be so much happier in the long run.

I know you don't think you'd notice it, but when you're single you can dress and just generally do things with only yourself in my mind. Everyone will say how they don't dress for men or whatever. But I know that if your man didn't like green, you would consciously not wear green around him, just out of respect really. But when he's out the picture, you can wear green everyday and not give af.

I hear it all the time when people are in long term relationships about how they miss dating, or they want to know what else is out there etc. Becoming single after a while and thinking about getting back out there is daunting as hell, for sure. But once you get over the stigma Tinder (and other dating apps) has and just download the app, you can have so much fun! There is no limit to how many guys or girls you can talk to, you can go out for dinner to a new restaurant every week and socialise with new people.

Trust me when I say there is no better diet than the 'break up diet.' For some reason, when a girl is dumped or whatever she suddenly gets ten times hotter than she has ever looked before. You have to utilise this ladies, it does wonders for your self esteem. That moment when you break up with your fella and post a bangin' selfie on Instagram and your DM's start blowing up or you suddenly get that "I think I made a mistake" text. Yes you did bitch, and now I know my worth so keep on dreaming. 

Breaks up aren't always a bad thing, as you can definitely find the beauty in them if you are willing to look. If any of you reading this are currently going through a break up then please know; you are amazing! It's not the end of the world and you will find the right person for you. He/she wasn't it! 

Hoody in XL - Ebay, Trainers - Nike Air Force 1
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